Patience Jonathan: The educated illiterate

Patience Jonathan, a one-time grammarian of the federal republic of Nigeria and the first woman and first lady who has a PhD but cannot utter a complete grammatical sentence. Verily, our sins made such person a first lady in Nigeria. Patience Jonathan was the first lady of Nigeria during good luck Jonathan’s regime in which she displayed a very high level of intelligence in the field of grammar (irony). The way she combined different grammatical structure was out of this world. If going to jail was the punishment for spoiling the white man’s language, she must have had a permanent residence.

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After years of sinning against God almighty, Nigerians got what they deserved as punishment”a clown for a first lady”. Patience Jonathan who was popularly known as “Na only you waka come” was described to be as powerful as a Nigerian president during her husband’s regime. Before the former president was elected, Nigerians had suffered from the shackles of greedy and corrupt government officials who do nothing but to embezzle public funds.

The public declaration of goodluck ebele Jonathan to be the next president by the people’s Democratic Party was exactly what Nigerians needed at that time because they were on the look-out for someone who could solve problems facing Nigeria. The name “GOODLUCK” really helped him a whole lot by making shallow minded people and educated illiterates to think that since his name is goodluck; therefore Nigeria would be a better country. Little did they not know that he was coming to continue in the footstep of past leaders and he was also coming along with an “embodiment of comedy and drama”. Trillions of naira was reportedly to have gone into thin air during his regime, among other frivolous activities. Madam patience Jonathan was notable for entertaining and putting smiles on the faces of Nigerians through the execution of grammatical blunders when things are not going smooth in the country. According to her Wikipedia page (anybody can edit or post here), it shows she studied at the university of Port-Harcourt. Do you think that is possible?

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Speeches are written by special advisers to the first lady of Nigeria which is a norm that happens everywhere. They hardly have anytime to sit and write their speech by themselves and so they appoint aides to do so.  It is very evident that, madam patience Jonathan doesn’t follow anything written by some special aides who assist her in speech writing.  For this reason, she ends up making a mockery of herself both locally and internationally.

Pidgin has been the language she learnt from the womb.  Among her notable expressions are; “my husband and sambo is a good people”, “The president was once a child and the senators were once a children”, “my fellow widows (her husband is still alive)”, “A good mother takes care of his children”, “The people sitting before you was once a children”, “i would rather kill myself instead of committing suicide”, all this from a PhD holder. Indeed she is expert in the field of English language. This is the same woman who single-handedly placed a former governor of river state, Rotimi Amaechi, under house arrest. According to a former U.S ambassador to Nigeria, he described patience Jonathan as the most arrogant and flamboyant first lady in the history of Nigeria. Long live to the educated illiterate!

 

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